A seaon of change.

Why hello there, my name is Marcy. In case you forgot. Do you like the changes to our blog? Changing ashes to beauty...has kind of an interesting, complicated, deep ring to it doesn't it? I thought so. It's been a while hasn't it? September 15, 2010 to be exact. Where has the time gone?

Have you ever gone through those periods in life where you just don't feel like doing something anymore? Well, I have no good excuses for the lack of blogging other than, I just didn't feel like it. And now you, my dear blog, has been back on my heart - but where to start? Do I try to catch you up on everything we've been doing for the past 7 months? Inundate you with pictures? Maybe eventually, but just thinking about it, overwhelms me. So instead, I logged into our blog and there sat a pending post from October 6th that I never published. After reading through it, I think I know why I never posted it. It was honest, it was deep, it was far beyond my typical post of sharing about our weekend. But as I read through it again, 7 months later, I realized that it was the truth and my season of change was just beginning.

"Fall. The season of change." That was the title of my October 6th blog post.

I started the post by listing what I love about fall..."I love the vibrant oranges, yellows and reds of the trees. Especially in the hills. I love the smell of dry leaves that have fallen on the ground. I love the cooler breeze and having our windows open. I love Saturday afternoon naps during a fall thunderstorm. I love reading a book on the couch curled under a blanket." But I then went on to explain that the season of Fall has always meant a period of change. Coincidence or not, many significant changes or events in my lifetime typically have taken place in the Fall. And for me, a first born, Type A, controller, who is reluctant to change, you can only imagine the anxiety that this "season" tends to stir up in me.

And this year has been no exception. For reasons beyond my comprehension, God has been working on shaping me. Refining me. Changing me. He has asked me to to change behaviors and patterns in my life that I was oblivious to - or pretended to be oblivious to. Humbling. Raw. He has asked me to dig deep into my childhood years and resurface and reprocess events that helped me or hindered me in many cases, become the woman I am today. Complicated. Exhausting. He has asked me to forgive individuals that I thought I already had. Frustrating. He has asked me to step away from people that I love dearly - only to lift them up in prayer and leave the rest to Him. Difficult. Painful. But through all of these humbling, raw, complicated, exhausting, frustrating, difficult and painful emotions - God has taken my ashes and turned them into beauty. Reminding me that I spent a great deal of my life being the Marcy that everyone else wanted me to be, a few short years being the Marcy that I wanted to be and now, at this very moment in my life, striving to be the Marcy that the Lord wants me to be. Far from perfect, far from finished and forever a work in progress.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

Welcome back.